Why We Waited to Add a Second Child

Posted in Marriage, Parenting by

Around my daughter’s first birthday I already started hearing those words. “Are you going to have another one?” or “When are you going to have another baby?” Some people don’t mean to be so in your face, but really it’s none of their business 🙂 I guess most parents start considering a 2nd child after the first birthday. The first birthday is a HUGE milestone itself! When it came down to it, my husband and I decided to wait. I know some of you have kids back to back and more power to you! For us, it’s just what made sense.  We both wanted more kids but not right away.

Why We Waited to have a 2nd child

Money: Money was a big factor. We are both teachers. I cannot image paying for childcare X 2 kids! That would basically be an entire pay check for one of us! We couldn’t do that! Not to mention all the diapers and formula and other kid expenses.  My baby bills were $$$ and it took time to pay off those debts.

Getting Pregnant: Physically getting pregnant was not the easiest for me. When we finally decided we were ready to have kids, it just didn’t happen over night like it does for some! I had to do fertility treatments for both of my pregnancies.  When we did decide it would be okay to have a 2nd baby I actually did get pregnant (without fertility) but at 7 weeks I lost the baby. It was such a sad time in my life. We had a lot of stressful things going on in our lives at the time so it took awhile to even feel up to trying again. I was scared to death of having another miscarriage. Once you experience that, you NEVER want to have that happen again. I know so many of you can relate to this. I was so scared.

Attention: I wanted to give our sweet girl all the love and attention we could. That time we had with just her is something my husband and I will never forget. It was just the 3 of us for 5 and 1/2 years! We had lots of fun together and didn’t take any of that for granted.

Finally when the timing was right and all the stars lined up for us (with a few months of fertility treatments) I got pregnant. I was literally scared the entire pregnancy. In the end it all worked out and was incredibly smooth and easy, but I still worried! At 5 and 1/2 years old our darling daughter became a big sister. She was literally the happiest little thing on the planet! She was at the perfect age to help out, and boy did she like to help. A little too much 🙂 Really it was the best thing for her, becoming a sister.

Why We Waited to Add a Sibling/ dailymomtivity  Even at 5 and 1/2 years apart  they are great friends and love to be together.


I can’t imagine anything being different! I am beyond thankful for what I have 🙂 I also love that every Mom has their own perspective on this topic. I really like this message from a Mom who loves having her kids 2 years apart! 


What are the age differences in your kids?

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  • Reply Kim

    There are 17 years and 364 days between my 1st and 2nd boys! I was told I would never be able to have anymore. Was told the 2nd was a fluke, wouldn’t happen again…3 years later my daughter was born and 3 years after that my baby son!

    October 9, 2015 at 9:35 pm
    • Reply Shannon

      Wow!! That’s amazing!

      October 9, 2015 at 10:40 pm
  • Reply Leslie

    There’s a four-year gap between my second and third. It’s worked well for us. Our older two have turned out to be real helpers. While the gap wasn’t entirely planned, I can see God’s hand in it now.

    October 11, 2015 at 7:48 pm
    • Reply Shannon

      It’s always nice to have help!!

      October 12, 2015 at 10:29 am
  • Reply Kristy

    Thanks for sharing your story. It’s great to hear that your two children are great friends and love to be together. I have a 2 year old daughter right now and I know I’m not yet ready to have a second child. We’ll see if and when we do, but one of my main concerns with waiting is the age gap and if they wouldn’t be as close because of that. Glad to hear that’s not the case for your family.

    October 12, 2015 at 7:47 pm
    • Reply Shannon

      I hear a lot of people say they are worried about kids not being close of they are too far apart. I think they will be no matter what! My 8 year old loves the 2 year old to pieces and I know it won’t last forever but right now it works! Good luck to you!

      October 14, 2015 at 2:34 pm
  • Reply Brittany

    The pictures of the two of them are so sweet! She looks like a good big sister 🙂
    My daughter is 13 months old and even before her first birthday people were asking if we were going to think about having another baby soon!

    December 14, 2015 at 6:56 am
    • Reply Shannon

      That’s a huge plus to spacing out kids! Older sibling can help!! (Like it or not!)

      December 16, 2015 at 9:44 am
  • Reply Samantha

    Our kids have a big age gap too. I never looked into why I couldn’t get pregnant until my son was 6. By the time we had our second baby he was 7. He absolutely loves his little sister though. They play together and she gets so exccited when we pick him up from school. He is a huge help too. Even though we didn’t plan on spacing them apart it worked out perfectly and I love that we had so long to spoil him as an only child. 😉

    January 24, 2016 at 8:55 am
    • Reply Shannon

      That’s so sweet. Sounds like they are close 🙂

      January 24, 2016 at 7:04 pm
  • Reply Ashley

    I love this article. I need to read more things like this since everyone keeps trying to scare me into having my second one. My son just turned 3. Hes very busy and energetic and we are having a great time with him! I hear 2 common things, “you better hurry and do it or your son will not be close to the second child” and “it will be like starting all over again, do you really want. that?” I like hearing success stories about people who wait.

    February 10, 2016 at 10:45 am
    • Reply Shannon

      thank you so much for your nice comments! I am glad we waited 🙂 My 2 year old and 8 year old are great friends (for now!!)

      February 10, 2016 at 11:50 am
  • Reply Having Our Second Child & 3 Reasons Why We Waited 5 1/2 Years

    […] We Waited to Add a Second Child was first published on Daily Momtivity by our very own IBA Member, Shannon […]

    October 2, 2016 at 10:10 pm
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